Friday, May 9, 2008

All Mothers should wear Evening Gowns

J-Lo has been awarded "Celebrity Mum Of the Year" by New York's 'Mingling Moms" association, for...wait for BIRTH in a HOSPITAL *gasp* I KNOW, I couldn't believe it either. Seriously, I couldn't. I have no doubt she loves her gorgeous little twins Max & Emme (cute names!) more than anything etc etc, but, well, I gave birth in a hospital too (as opposed to a plush celeb retreat), in fact I was also born in one, so why don't I qualify for an award?

This is not an attack on J-Lo. Her perfume actually isn't too bad and I think she's pretty, albeit a bit talentless but she has a good healthy bum and doesn't do anything overly offensive. It's this Mingling Moms crowd I have issues with. For one thing, they also gave an award to Lindsay Lohan's mother/manager, Dina who is renowned for making up the details of her own showbiz 'career'. Good start. Her bit of parenting advice, aside from "always, always make sure your daughter wears leggings, has well-publicised stints in rehab and a stalling career" was "be honest and to stay morally correct. And listen to your mother." Obviously ol' Li-Lo only ever sees her mother in a manager-capacity (which, by the way, is only ever why Dina is out at nightclubs with her daughter, she claims. To supervise. Yeah.), thus rendering Dina Do-Gooder's advice invalid and unapplicable. Dina had Lindsay and a younger sibling (Ali, who is appearing soon in a reality tv show with her mother) enrolled in a modelling agency at the age of 3. She reckons this is "living the American dream". Well thank fuck I'm an Aussie.

(In case you can't tell, Dina is the shy withdrawn natural blonde trying to wrestle her award away from that normal person to the left.)

Is that what these Mingling Moms aspire to? Fame, money and questionable reputations? DO they want to be just like a celebrity, any celebrity will do really, that badly? FAMOUS mag (yes, that bastion of investigative journalism) reports that "he organisation decided to reward to 38-year-old Jennifer after it was revealed she had given birth at a hospital in Long Island, New York and is intending to raise the twins in the local neighbourhood". Well I'll be. Not only did she give birth in a regular hospital, but she's going to raise the kids on 'the block' too? In a small overpriced apartment where they can hear the neighbours frying eggs for dinner, or in a luxurious mansion where she can waft around in elegant ball gowns and see the local neighbourhood safely off in the distance behind a smoggy haze of nostalgia, but conveniently near enough that their postcodes might almost be similar, and she can thus claim residency? (C'mon, who didn't snigger at this shoot days after the Lopez twins were born):

The Mingling Moms President (can somebody tell me why Yanks have "presidents" of everything?) said the awards were to recongise 'moms' who had inspired their superstar children and helped them in their career. Please don't tell me that Max & Emme have a "career" already? I guess childhood stardom is part of Dina's American Dream.....poor little buggers.

To all the everyday mums out there who love your children for who they are, snotty noses and pooey nappies and messy bedrooms and all, you guys are the ones who deserve the awards. You don't need to waft around in a poufy ballgown to be a superstar to us. Aaaaw :)

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