Friday, August 29, 2008

The Less Sarcastic List

You know when you have just so much shitty paperwork and boring bollocky tedious tasks to do, you procrastinate and procrastinate and start blogging about nothing in particular? Yeah, that's what I'm doing. It's that or find new applications to add to Facebook (btw, who likes the new layout? Anyone? Didn't think so). Anyway, I thought a good way to end the week would be to go all Dr Phil and write a list of things that made me feel happy and slightly less sarcastic than usual:

1). When your two year old understands what most suburban 12 year olds don't, that Ugg Boots are "Mummy's Slippers" and look funny out on the street when you're all dolled up in your best polyester outfit to go shopping. Truly, one of my proudest moments as a mother to date was when we were trotting along the street behind a group of heavily hairsprayed youths, and Charli pointed, giggled and said rather loudly "Look! Mummy's Slippers!" Like, totally owned by a toddler. Serious cool points to Charlotte!

2). When the weather is bright and sunny and warm enough to shed a few layers but not hot, in other words, when it feels like a fresh new spring day and you pop on a happy cd in the car and sing loudly with the windows down. Try it, it's liberating. CD of choice: last summer's fave, Ben Kweller's self titled. We haven't got to this summer yet, so it sorta wins by default.

3). Speaking of cd's, it;s been 10 years since we heard from The Verve but I'm mighty glad we have again. The Stone Roses should never reform, but the Verve's new album Forth is a suitably chilled out release. Oh, and a few new singles from Oasis' upcoming album Dig Out Your Soul have done the illegal rounds, and it just makes me tingly and want to wear a parka.

4). When you come home and your other half has done the vaccuuming. That, my male friends, is the way to a woman's heart, and a nice roast dinner.

5). When you get a text out of the blue from a friend you haven't heard from in ages. AND she's proposing afternoon drinks. Hell yes.

Back to the paperwork...after I check Facebook.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Blog Apologies, and some new stuff

YES I know, I'm sorry, but if you had to climb over a challenging obstacle course of boxes, shoes, coat hangers and more boxes you wouldn't feel very motivated to type about random hobos at the supermarket. Although, speaking of, I think I might start a little sub blog "Adventures in Grocery Shopping" because the weird and wonderful world of the unflatteringly lit supermarket offes a myriad of observances into the human condition that no sidewalk cafe can rival. Anyway, as a slightly lazy form of compensation for the recent lack of bloggage (and I honestly didn't realise it was Wednesday until about 5 minutes ago, prompting a haphazrad scramble through this cardboard jungle to the computer desk) here's some pics of all the gorgeus new summer-y stuff you won't be able to wear for another few months, but you sure can buy it and hoard it safely til then:
Blue Juice's Noveau Riche Lush Coat is so elegant and really classy, but lightweight enough for a summer jacket (why it's "Lush" I dont know, it's gorgeous but not make of fur or anything. Hmm..) anyway if you regularly spill stuff on yourself or have rampaging toddlers with crayons this isn't the jacket for you, but damn its nice! The Euphoric Romance Denim Shorts are a great little short for summer, not heavy (remember Tencel? they feel like that!) and a versatile shade of rich blue that matches back easily with just about everything. Selling fast!!!
I don't even bother putting French Kitty in the newsletters anymore because it sells quicker than we can get it in, and if you're a bikini babe this is a classy and girly option which is incredibly cute!

GRAB's Mesh Tunic is one of those pieces you have to see and wear to really appreciate (which makes it odd for online shopping, I know, but I know you guys will suss it out!) when Laura was modelling it she didn't want to take it off. And I didn't want to wrestle her for it cos she's taller than me. Neither did Mat the photographer cos she's taller than him too. The short story is that it won't be this short on most mere mortals but you won't want to take it off either, it's so darn cool and really comfy!

Little Potty Red Shoes is one of our quiet achievers, but they produce some absolutely gorgeous pieces that always stand out. This Hollywood Smile skirt in bold, bright purple is a definite winner, the block colour makes it easy to work into your existing wardrobe and make a really eyecatching outfit without being too fussy. Also you can put it on when you're slightly tipsy and it won't matter cos it's the same front and back!

This is a really beautiful little piece by Living Doll, just the top for making you feel like donning a full skirt, dainty hat and sipping tea in the garden.....the print is a ripoff from somewhere but who cares, it's gorgeous (and cheap)!This is THE shoe of the summer (unless you want it in flat, in which case wait a few days until all the new SUNDAY range is on the site, Nude don't have a flat in this style) and it's so so comfy! I love a wedge (with sweet chilli especially) but as far as shoes go these are awesome for Spring under new season wideleg denim or pants, or for dressing up a pretty frock. I've been hanging out for them since I first saw them in March - the 6 month wait has been worth it!
Sunny Girl's one shouldered frock in black has sold through 5 times (yes FIVE times we've reordered and sold it all!) and this version in royal blue is the newest piece on the block to be causing waves - it's slinky, sexy and a beautifully flattering shade. Bring on the party season ladies!
One Teapsoon's new stuff is rocking the socks off everyone, especially the swimwear which is HOT to trot! It's been instore approximately 24 hours and thnkafully we've barely had to unpack it because the majority of it has sold. Thanks, guys! (PS I'm currently flicking between One T's Winter '09 rangebook and writing this and you are in for a treat, it's wicked sticks!)
All our kids labels will be delivering Summer over the next month, so if you're wanting to get your Little Frocker wardrobe together, sit tight!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Beauty Review: 2 Thumbs Up for MAC & Revlon

The search for the perfect foundation and the perfect lipgloss is like the search for the perfect jeans: never-ending, frustrating, expensive; but still the sort of search that you don't want to end, in case you end up with nothing to shop for (the horror, the horror!). If my makeup bag was a Facebook page my current status would read: Kat's Makeup Bag is overflowing, but content *smiley face* . As you all know, if I didn't buy so many magazines and products and general crap I could probably buy more important things, like, um, a house, but houses don't make your skin tone even or your lips luscious. I have however found two products recently that make me so joyous that I hum Christmas carols in August:

1). MAC Select SPF 15 Foundation I actually wanted the Face & Body foundation that is eternally raved about but Myer Melbourne don't have it and I couldn't be bothered going out to Chadstone, especially considering I was meant to be making my way to appointments and not, in fact, having a makeover. Incidentally, if you're the type of person who gets slightly erotic thrills when you see swathes and swathes of colour pots all neatly lined up in order, then I suggest making a trip to the MAC counter to gasp in awe at the monolith of beautiful little pots of eye shadow just begging to be smudged with your pinkie. Sigh. Anyhow, a nice French lady working at the counter must've thought I looked like the arty type or something (I don't, but French people are odd) because upon enquiring as to a suitable foundation, she expertly chose the exact colour I've been looking for all these years and artfully applied it with a silky foundation brush. To half my face. Delighted with her choice, we both agreed that this was the new foundation for me and she trotted off to the counter to ring it up. I sat confused in the makoever chair for a few minutes, as one half of my face was made up and the other was not. I didn't know if this was a new trend I had somehow missed out on, but it looked a bit odd. Especially for meeting clients, regardless of how fashion savy they are. Phantom-of-the-Opera chic does not suit me. This fab foundation, however, does. I love it. I am most chuffed and will certainly be getting more, now that I know my colour (you can buy it online at the above link, or probably from Strawberrynet and Kiss&Makeup -love this store, especially for NARS - only I'm getting hungry and thus too lazy to check). The rundown: liquid foundation (best applied with a bursh), SPF 15 (in case you thought the title was cryptic), non-oily and nice and gentle. It possibly bakes yo-yo biscuits while wearing twin sets in shades of pastel, it's so nice.

2). Revlon's Mineral Lipglaze in Forever Raisin (yeah, I just do what the ads tell me) tastes so damn nice it could be bright blue for all I care. Um, I don't sit on the couch with a spoon dipping into the tube, I don't have a spoon that would fit for starters, I just mean it gives a nice sweet taste on your lips when you put it on. Plus it does stay on. Does what it says on the tin, indeed. I already have an all time fave lipgloss that is the most perfect lippy ever for everyday wear(Bonne Bell's cheapie Vitamin E range, get it from Priceline or similar bargain beauty store $6.95) but this one is my new fave "dressy" lip colour. Actually I wore it dagging around the house on Sunday because I love it. If you don't put too much on, it gives a nice deep stain; conversely if you get a bit tipsy on Saturday night and reapply it rather heavily, you'll get a slick, gorgeous gloss that lasts through more Jagerbombs then you can. I hope they release more colours, most of the current shades are either quite dark or quite light, or too brown for my liking though you might like it of course. Last time I checked Revlon weren't asking me specifically for shades, but in case they do something a tad lighter then Forever Rsin with a hint of more pink would be about perfect. Mwah.

What should come first? A wardrobe cleanout or makeup bag cleanout? Need to make room for a MAC-esque wall of colour to drool over I guess.....

Monday, August 18, 2008

When Will I, Will I Be Famous.....

What is it with me and bad 80's songs lately? Don't ask about Saturday night....*cough* anyhow, today ws a FrockYou media extravanganza! First, Cosmopolitan Pregnancy published a little and very edited not quite the angle they told me they were taking story about my pregnancy, though they did, thankfully, get my age wrong and made me younger. They also published a bloody awful photo but anyway. Secondly, Charlotte won a local "Cutest Kids" competition (yes, it was the OMG pic you all love) which everyone except me heard about on the radio, and I still haven't been contacted about the prize, but it's very chuff-worthy! She spent her day of fame finding new and inventive ways of getting poo on her fingers. Charming.

Thirdly, there was a nice little fluffy story about online shopping tonight on A Current Affair , where Shoptilyoudrop 's lovely Beauty Editor Amy Starr gave the ol' Frock a nice plug and 0.4 second screenshot. I didn't see it of course, or know about it, but I got a tx from MIL who thankfully did see it. You wouldn't think that half a second of airtime would really do much but the respnse has been phenomenal. Obviously I'm far too snotty and pseudo-intellectual to watch current affairs programmes but still, I wish I'd seen it. Thank goodness for YouTube (where I spent my relaxing weekend finding completely obscure and mind boggling clips, which I will share with you later in the week).

*donns giant sunnies and handbag sized dog before going outside to battle through the throng of paparrazi*

Saturday, August 16, 2008

It Wasn't Me!

I'm not sure why the below two posts suddenly appeared, they were the ones I was trying to get to upload a few weeks ago. (I naturally blame the technology, not myself). Anyhoo, ejnoy.....

Bad Things to Hear on an Aeroplane - Mock the Week - BBC Two

Today I discovered this British show, Mock the Week. I have just spent the past 9 hours on YouTube catching up. For want of a better cyber expression: ROFLMAO.

Frankie Boyle's Scottish accent tugs at my heartstrings!

Weird Things to See on a Road Sign - Mock the Week - BBC Two

Friday, August 15, 2008

Beauty is Sexist

You know how magazines always feature gorgeous spreads of luscious creamy/sparkly/glossy lip colours, artfully spilled bottles of nail polish, delciately sprinkled pretty blushes, and it makes you want to overhaul your makeup bag/bathroom cabinet and go spend your wages on all these wonderful products that are really only in there 'cos the eds got them for free? And how you spend more on anti-ageing products of spiffy new cleansers than your man spends on clothing in a year? And THEN you contasntly read about how men age better then women. Men on tv and in movies are older, more "dignifed" with not as much pressure to look youthful. Why? Possibly because they are not persuaded to cover their faces in loads of expensive crap, which essentially causes alot more damage then good and then need to go buy more products to fix it all up (aha! clever clever marketers)?

Makeup and skincare is fun. It's one of those girly things that makes you feel good. There's no harm in that. And men are of course being catered to by beauty companies and slowly convinced to cleanse, moisturise and treat. I only recently found out that my partner has been indulging in my beloved Body Shop Seaweed Scrub every few days. And he's the type that convinces me I don't need another new lippy becuase "you look beautiful without it" which is an annoyingly foolproof argument. My dad used to use mum's ye olde Olay face cream on his hands when he ran out of the supermarket cheapie moisturiser she bought for him (he works with his hands so they got all crakced and yuk otherwise). Men do like a bit of self-pampering, even if they won't admit it, but women have been forced to like it. One can't look old, despite the "embrace your age" articles recently permeating the glossy magazine spehere. Embrace your age, but don't look it. One of my high school/Uni holidays/between travelling jobs was at Priceline, in the old days when you could actually get service (oh, nasty!) and I'll never forget a lady who came in looking for some Vitamin E cream for her face. She said she was in her mid-60's but her skin was magnificent, smooth and glowing and with natural smile lines - and all she'd ever used was Vitamin E! Needless to say I got me little pink tub of the stuff asap.

ShoptilyouDrop have an article this month about the softly, softly approach to beauty - I haven't read all of it yet because Charlotte knocked my cup of tea over it - but it just makes so much more sense than the piling on of harsh chemicals and god knows what else. Prevention not cure! Even the new metro man's skincare lines only have the bare neccessities. Is it some well-kept secret they never told us? Men have the secret to better ageing, or at least the genetics.

I'm going to lay my cards on the table now. Go look in your bathroom cupboard. Assuming items like toothpaste and loo paper (which one male member of this household who shall remain nameless but is referred to as Daddy taught Charlotte to call Poo Tickets) and tissues are neutral territory, my partner has soap, hair gunk, shaving cream and razor, nail clippers and deodorant. I have 4 bottles of Fructis shampoo and conditioner (I appear to be stockpiling them in case of a specific Armageddeon which wipes out department stores, supermarkets, pharmacies and discount beauty stores. One simply can't have greasy hair in a post-apocalyptic world, it's so done), 2 bottles of Dove Shampoo and Conditioner, 1 Johnsons body wash, 1 spare and 1 Dove body wash, 1 Body Shop Strawberry body exfoliant, 2 bubble baths, 2 body butters, 1 shimmery body lotion, 1 self tan body lotion, 1 Venus razor with spare cartridges, wax strips, tweezers, nail file, cuticle stick, hand cream (x2), tea tree oil for blemishes, Garnier deep heat face mask, SK-II cleanser, afore-mentioned Seaweed exfoliant, eye cream, vitamin c serum, Olay moisturiser, vitamin e moisturiser, 3 deodorants...and that's what I can remember off the top of my head and doesn't include my overflowing makeup bag (I didn't actually get up and go look in the cupboard, naughty naughty).

I don't need it all, but I want it all and I like it all. Thus I have convinced myself I need it all, even though deep down (well, not too far down) I know I don't. Taking a lesson from the men and simplifying, gentlifying and minimising would go a long way...That said, I've made myself a list from this month's mags and am off today to happily test, smell, feel and play with some new colours and products that will make me a better and better looking person (pft). If beauty begins on the inside, well a girl's gotta be happy...

(Ed's note: bought a lush Revlon mineral lipgloss today, smells like cakes and slicks on a treat. NOW I'm happy!)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

UK Grazia's Top 10 Best Dressed: Where's Kate? And Posh!

I love the fact that the fact that Kate Moss didn't make UK Grazia magazine's Top 10 best Dressed list makes more news then the fact dear old Agyness did. I just read this over at GWAS and PopSugar and did a quick Google, only to find the whole first page (the only page when it comes to searches, dahling) was devoted to stories on how Ms Moss missed out. Kate Moss is awesome (read her interview in US Vogue for free here) and it's a simple fact of fashion that whatever she's snapped wearing, the chainstores and thus general public snap up en masse. Skinny jeans in boots, then skinny jeans with ballet flats? Grey? Ray-Bans? Wideleg jeans? All by (or reinvented by) Kate. She is starting to look her age admittedly but it's about the clothes, the clothes, the clothes! Women the world over (me included) are envious of her ability to throw an outfit together and look completely cool and effortless and a step ahead of everyone else at the same time (possibly because we've become so used to looking like her to work out what to wear next. She wins by default). Anyway, Agyness is also awesome, but in a different way, because what she wears, well only she can wear:

Most of us would probably never dupliacte that outfit and get away with it, but models who can actually dress themselevs with a unique sense of style are a rare breed. Have you ever watched America's Next Top Model? They have absolutely no idea about the simplest of styles, and might all be tall and gorgeous but and a bit nasty. Ok so they're not famous supermodels and probably never will be but still, presumably if you're interested in modelling you should be a little interested in fashion perhaps?

The list rounded itself out with Gwyneth Paltrow (can't stand her shoe choices, I'm sorry. Or her, really. Or this:

bulges! possibly see through! I'd be so embarrassed if my mum wore it); SJP, who might have been named the most Unnattractive Woman Ever by some macho men's mag, but I think she always looks great and very well put together, and not quite as ridiculous as Carrie; Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the First Lady of France who is the eptiome of classic French style, including the arty nudey shots; Daisy Lowe, who again has a sort of inimitable style that really only she can pull off (go Brit girls!); Maggie Gyllenhaal, who is hit and miss but definitely herself; Elle Macpherson, obviously incredibly gorgeous but not particualrly interesting - there's a pic of her which I can't find wearing knee high gladiator sandals and they make even her look frumpy. So don't go there come Sumer, please; Uma Thurman; Natalie Portman (loves a ruffle, and this pic was conveniently on the same page as Gwynnie's):

Kate Hudson, again another gorgeous but blergh girl; and Dasha Zhykova, who I've never heard of but it sounds like the name of a pet detective (like that Austrain show on SBS anout the dog who solves crimes). I would've liked to see Rachel Bilson on the list, she always looks incredibly cool without showing off. Though, at the other end of the spectrum, where's Posh? Anyone who can whip herself into a classic Lady Who Lunches outfit before making an emergency exit off a plane deserves a spot, methinks:

(Pics from JustJared, Popsugar and Gofugyourself - all the other pic sites were anoyingly slow to load today and giving me the shits!).

Monday, August 11, 2008

RELAX, don't do it.....

You know that song? I was going to make the title FRANKIE SAYS RELAX but then you'd think I was blabbering on about my geek chic printed buddy Frankie . Also it's really early in the morning for me so excuse my typos. I am awake because I have been conditioned to view relaxation, the fine art of doing nothing, as unproductive, lazy, and a pure and simple waste of the precious time in which I could be working on my career, relationships, quality time with my daughter, reading, pampering myself, cooking gorgeous meals, making our house look like something out of a magazine, catch up with friends, exercise and all those million other things we should all be doing each day in order to lead purposeful, meaningful and fulfilled lives. Well, fuck it. I woke up before 6am (I used to get home at this time, sheesh) and started to think, which is a dangerous habit. I could not get back to sleep because I am conditioned to telling myself I need to do this and that, will get so much more done if I get up a few hours earlier, I'll have a better day and be ready for a good night's sleep this evening. Bollocks. I'm cold (the heat pump is cranked up, thus using more power hurting the environment and costing us more money which isn't very efficient of me is it?); crabby (not the calm, centred and go-to-it person the magazines tell me iI should be); and I dare not look in the mirror lest it break (I didn't have a long relaxing bath last night with expensive lotions, followed by herbal tea, a good face cleanse and moisturise and sleep-inducing hand cream, like I was meant to, naughty naughty). My aim for the weekend was to r-e-l-a-x but I didn't. I couldn't. Vegging out on the couch with a book or magazine has no point unless I'm taking notes becuase I need to write about them, watching a dvd is a rare event (unless it's Shrek or Nemo as favoured by Charlotte), we did take her to the park and for a nice brunch on Saturday but as soon as I got home I had to check my email. The only way to counter this is to switch the computer off, switch my phone off, and get out of the mindset that I need to be doing something, all the time. Men are very good at this. My partner even had a nap with our daughter yesterday afternoon. So I took the opportunity not to have a bath or paint my toenails or indulge in a hot chocolate and a book, but logged on and caught up on some work. Life is too fast-paced, we're all complaining of stress and burnout, yet it's our own fault! It's not going to change I guess, marketers and advertisers would never allow it, but don't you think we could get more out of life by simply doing less?

Next weekend, I promise I'll try it. As long as I've caught up with work and the house is clean. Oh and my wardrobe cleaned out and dinner cooked in advance. Hmmm.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Book Review: I Love My Babycinos!

Café culture is as much a part of life for kids these days as pushdown socks with leggings/hypercolour tshirts*/Inspector Gadget/Bubble-o-Bills were a part of our chilhood (assuming for argument’s sake you, too, were a scrunchie-wearing child of the 80’s). Katrina Thomson’s delightfully simple and fun new board book, I Love My Babycino’s, has not left my 2-year-old’s froth-covered fingers since she got it – and that is the true test of a good kid’s book. This book is in fact so special it gets it’s own post!

Babycino (bab’e-chee-no) noun
A small cup of frothy milk specifically made for children”

Babycino’s vary in their make and price from café to café, and Katrina’s book teaches children not only about the days of the week, but also about different types of ‘cino’s! “On Monday, I have a smiley face babycino…on Tuesday, a BIG frothy babycino….” right through to the best of the bunch (according to Charlotte) – “on Sunday, I have a babycino with two marshmallows”! The pictures are bright, funky and attractive, and the tough board book and rounded corners mean it can safely be chewed on when the babycino cup is empty. Soaking up café culture with your bub is a rather fabulous way to spend some quality time together, talking, reading, people-watching and most importantly giving them an important dose of dairy with their “grown-up” ‘cinos!

Katrina (Thomson, I’m not speaking about myself in third person, even for a Gemini that would be weird) reckons the best babycino has to be “at least 80% froth and definitely not hot”, and tots the world over concur with her two daughters – “it has to come with marshmallows or it’s not a babycino”! They get the best ‘cino’s at Romano’s Café in Station Street, Fairfield – the best because they tick all the boxes: they’re free when Mum buys a drink, and they come with smiley faces complete with Smartie nose and marshmallow eyes! All the coffee chains do simple, free ‘cino’s when you buy a coffee (we like Gloria Jeans because you can add all the sprinkles and stuff yourself) and any café worth the trip will whip up something special for your tots. Most will also do a Minicino, which has a shot of flavour in the milk (one of our FrockYou girls, who is 18, loves them. Ahem.)

Katrina and her girls always loved to read in cafes, so of course the obvious step was to write a book about their beloved babycinos. Due to the overwhelming response, which was happily more than she expected, Katrina has also developed the website and a competition with over $1100 worth of prizes to coincide with the book launch on August 8th! But she’s a busy lady, running the very awesome ID Tee label and of course fitting in time for café-going with her girls, so at the moment plans for a sequel (Minicino Fights Back? The Beauty of Banana Bread?) are on hold. She did however, use the old adage, “never say never”…

I give it two out of two big fluffy marshmallows – it doesn’t leave my handbag and each time we’re at a café (which is, like, everyday) we pull it out and check which sort of Babycino corresponds to the day. It’s a great learning tool and my daughter adores the pictures – the grin on her face when we read it is priceless, but if you can put a price on happiness, in this case it’s just $9.95!

Available from good bookstores, cafes, (check the website for stockists near you or to purchase) and of course you can also buy online at Frock You!)

(*which are back incidentally and perhaps not surprisingly: you guessed it, it’s the wacky kids over at American Apparel!)

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Be grateful for IKEA

Fantastic Furniture should be sued for false advertising. Though, I hope they don't read this because the other week we were testing a coffee table and the contact covered mdf, or whatever it was made of, broke, so we hightailed it outta there. Ahem. By "testing a coffee table" I mean my partner stood on it to see if it would hold the weight of our two year old daughter...yes, I know. She is approximately 60kg lighter than he is, but you know, we want a sturdy coffee table. Unfortuantely, the sturdy ones seem to be found only in Harvey Norman and cost more than our weekly income. If we only had Ikea *cue glorious Rogers & Hammerstein song straight out of a musical* I am certain we could find something slightly sturdier, roughly the same price, that is aesthetically pleasing. Ikea don't ship interstate even though they have a half-hearted online shopping facility, and I'm not sure a coffee table would come in under weight/size restrictions on the el cheapo flights if we bothered to go to Melbourne to get one. Fantastic Furniture is not, in fact, fantastic. It's shit. If you want to makeover your living room, get Changing Rooms to come in and paint a bookshelf on your wall because it will be safer than using a FF shelving system (they did this once, I'll never forget, painted a bookself onto the wall and reckoned it was fantastic. Why did that show ever get axed, one muses?) Fantastic, is no doubt, actually marvellous if you're a uni student sick of sleeping on the couch your roomate got from the outside the neighbours house last rubbish night and you'd prefer an mdf-styled abode over a Young Ones-esque share house. Or if you live in a lower socio-economic suburb and want to spend your baby bonus kitting out your unit. IKEA is not the Gucci of home furnishings (because presumably Gucci is) but at least it's an option. And even if you fall through your IKEA coffee table and need some ideas on how to hide the evidence, or if the demise of the home-reno show has left you itching for some DIY ideas, check out Ikea Hacker . It even has Quikea tips for when you need to zip in and out - an impossible task, but if faced with it, be grateful. It beats fleeing Fantastic with mdf splinters.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Mock the Week

I have been wrestling with YouTube for the past half an hour trying to get these videos to display, and the stubbornly refuse, so here are the links which I highly recommend you click. I have also been browsing old YT for about 9 hours because I have just discovered this incredibly funny British show called Mock The Week. To be honest, mockery is a favoured hobby amongst my peers and I so this is perfect. Like Chaser crossed with Spicks and Specks (fyi while you're there look for "Never Mind the Buzzcocks"), with better accents (especially Frankie Boyle's):

Friday, August 1, 2008

3 Things I Hate About..erm, Me

First and foremost, the Disclaimer: this is not an angsty, I-just-bought-a-MyChemicalRomance-cd sorta post. Those of you who know me know I'm far too up myself to dislike anything in particular about moi. But this week I have done 3 (well, maybe 2.5) things that I am totally against:

1). Wore trackpants in public. SHIT I hear you gasp! Seriously, I did. And a little someone with the initals TLC won't let me live it down if I don't post about it. There is a genuine reason: every Thursday lucnhtime I take my daughter to swimming lessons, and becuase our teacher is a nice lady called Kym and not the overly enthusiastic Laurie Lawrence, we don't just chuck the toddlers in the pool and let them figure it out; us Mums get in too. In the middle of winter, this makes it totally freezing when you get out, get bubs dressed and rush to the car. Usually this is done ever so stylishly with a towel wrapped around one's bottom half, some sort of jacket thrown on top and whatever shoes we came in. Hey, you saw it here first. BUT This week I decided I was sick of getting the car seat wet with my soggy towel on the way home, so dried off as best I could before the rampaging two-year-olds bolted for the change room door and thus the pool, and put on my incredibly comfy (OMG) "yoga pants" ie 3/4 tracky daks with elasticised waist from Target. Far out, how many things are wrong with that sentence? "comfy" "3/4" (in terms of leg length) "tracky daks" "Target" "elasticised waist"...I want to cry just reading it back. The waistband is one of those foldover ones, sorta like maternity pants but feel really nice to slip into to relax, or possibly do yoga, which I've never tried because I am about as flexible as a brick wall. Target, because I refuse to spend alot on leisurewear which I neverwear. 3/4 leg length is not flattering on anybody under 6 foot who eats, despite what the catwalks are currently trying to tell us. "Comfy" is not usually my first priority when choosing an outfit, sad but true. But in my defence, swimming lessons for tots is a type of physical activity AND it looks possibly slightly better than a towel-skirt. Hmph.

2). I went to Supre. My friends and I used to pop in all the time to get a top for Saturday night or a cheap shopping thrill, but either Supre has got younger and more fluro or I've gotten older and more muted in my colour palette, or both, but it's a scary, scary place where the shop assistants can't hear you over the music, flash their undies over their jeans and vomit every current trend over themselves before hitting the shop floor. If I wanted to shop in a nightclub, I would happily get off my tits, shout indecipherable things at strangers and unknowingly overpay for completely shitty items. But, like most of you, I prefer to be reasonably in control of my senses when shopping. Today however, I got a text from my best shopping buddy "Supre have 50% off their sale stuff, tops from $2.50!" and I was literally across the road, so I pushed through the decibels like a headwind and entered. Aside from being nearly blinded by the colour choices and claustrophobic from the racks and racks of stuff absolutely jam packed, I picked up 3 nice little basics for $11. And I MAY even go back and get a few more to sell on ebay for a lot more than what I paid (this works a treat, trust me). Waiting in line behind a large girl who could barely fit between the racks and in front of a family of bogans from Devonport discussing how Noice their purchases were and how expenshiv Jeanswest is, my daughter looked up at me, grinned her naughty grin and started shaking her head vigorously to the music, doing an unknowing but completely spot-on mockery of the throbbing toons. She's 2 and knows these tunes are for when Mummy has a lot of wine and/or vodka, and no other times. (Seen the segment on Chaser where they go have a rave in Supre? Brilliant). The girl behind the counter said something but I couldn't hear, so I just handed my card over and hoped she'd said the amount I'd worked out in my head. I couldn't even lip read because it wasn't just the top band of her knickers poking out over jeans, it was like she had decided to experiment with layering or some kind of underwear-as-outerwear-read-my-undies trend. I came out happy with my bargains but also with a headache and a burning desire to go calm down in a boutique. Or even Jeasnwest.

3). Well it's only a little one, or half one, but I forgot to post yesterday...sorry! There's too much awesome new stuff on the website to occupy me instead.....

Next week stay tuned for my lowdown on the KidsinStyle trade show this weekend in Melbourne!