In terms of flashing skin, that is. Today was a local public holiday due to the Cup (don't worry, your parcels still went out...local public holidays don't apply to us, particularly when they are for a 'yobbos get drunk and stumble around in pointy shoes' event). The ladies and I, being too mature/intent on saving/in the midst of detoxes gave it a miss in favour of a gossip over an (iced) coffee. Of course, this meant venturing into the CBD where it was a visual feast of frocks, fascinators and fails as we watched the spray-tanned hordes on their way trackside to eat, drink and be merry. Oh and watch a horse race or two. If they remember.
Now, unless you're into equestrian-related activites, local Cups are simply for frocking up and enjoying a bottle of wine or twenty. It's rare that they are a classy affair, even before the whole heels-in-hands stumble home. Most people aren't drunk before they dress themselves, which means there's even less of an excuse for the following fashion faux pas:
1). Hemlines that are too short - your Nanna will tell you the basic rule - the shorter the hemline, the more you cover up on top. A strapless dress with a hem that brushes your bum cheeks is not a good look, regardless of how tall and thin you may be. And especially if you've become good friends with Mr Cellulite.
2). Heels that you can't walk in - you're not going to wear clunky sensibles from Colorado, but it's still worth investing in shoes that have a heel that won't sink into the grass, won't rub on your toes and make you walk like you're constipated, and don't make you look like you charge $5 an hour. Especially true if point 1 is relevant.
3). Fascinators - really they're completely pointless, but lots of fun nonetheless. There is more to them, however, than simply stocking up on Spotlight netting and whacking it on the side of your head with a sparkly brooch from Diva. Heck, Diva will have already done that for you, for $12.99.
4). Florals - pretty and girly, and a springtime staple year in and year out. Note: currently, it's not spring. Note: most look horribly cheap when you attempt to dress them up. Note: your Nanna is probably wearing floral too. Note: the majority of women there, will probably safely stick with floral. Note: will look beautiful with a more casual outfit.
5). Mixing pointed shoes with sporty sunglasses and carefully mussed hair - guys, it screams yobbo. Or footballer. Or that you like to talk about utes. It's possible to dress nicely without looking like a confused cowboy. Shirt, tie, pants, shoes that look like they cover a natural foot shape.
So, how to look classy, or at least a bit less like a suburban hussy? It's probably warm out, so choose which bits you want to expose - and cover the rest. You're meant to dress up and have fun, so go with a cool hairpiece with it's own unique look. (Remember, there's a Diva in every city, so identicalfashion-crises are probable). You could try something like this: