Tuesday, August 4, 2009

When Windex Goes Too Far

What with Masterchef inspiring us all to take up a pair of tongs and discover (or renew) a passion for cooking, and the current economic downturn meaning one has to find cheaper ways of entertaining oneself, all that is Homely is officially hip. I'm not sure who or what governs what is 'hip' exactly but I'm chuffed that crafting, cooking, reading and activities which neccessitate a pretty apron are no longer cringe-worthy.

I've bought more cookbooks in the last few months than in the last 20-odd years - indeed, MIL gave me a cookbook for my birthday which I was very happy with, depsite what she was possibly insinuating with the dedication "Dear Kat, there are lots of simple, easy recipes in here"...Frankie's Afternoon Tea got twenty of my dollars mainly because it looks so adorable and made doilies look cool; and I love the good old Women's Weekly Cookbooks which start at about $5 for the mini versions - they're chock full of homely, sensible and affordable dishes that you actually know are going to come out vaguely like the picture. And hands up who had a birthday cake from their Mum's AWW Birthday Cake Book? *entire gen Y raises hands*

Heck, even cleaning has become more bearable of late. When you live in a neighbourhood entirely built by Hotondo Homes, there is a certain image one feels one has to uphold. You can almost feel the housewives staring from behind their tinted long windows to make sure your washing isn't hanging out for too long that it becomes unsightly. Actually one of my favourite activities recently has been "let's leave the rubbish bins out ALL DAY and watch the neighbours get politely irritated!"

It is a less irritating activity then the people up the road who wash, polish and vaccuum both their cars EVERY SUNDAY without fail, and then clean the garage floor, lest it start to resemble, you know, a garage floor with marks on it. The people across the road sweep the footpath in front of their house after people walk past and routinely examine their driveway for marks. They don't put their cars in the garage if it's been raining, they wait for them to dry off and then put the cars in. YES I AM SERIOUS.

Anyway, the point of today's little rant is this: despite my lax (or as I prefer to call it, New Generation) attitude to cleaning, I do keep a bottle of Windex in the cupboard and use it occassionally to clean windows and mirrors and other assorted surfaces. (By the way, what does the 'dex' stand for?) I thought this was what it's purpose was. But today, while out on my afternoon walk, I did a double take at one DH's* spotless home - and not because of the reflection of myself in trackpants in her recently 'Dexed outer windows. No, she was Windexing her front steps. What the feck is wrong with a broom? I mean, she was polishing those babies with such vigour that I almost felt the need to take out a Classified ad warning Avon ladies around the city to aviod our suburb at all costs. And God help the Jehovahs.

Stay tuned for our next installment, where Wild Housewives of Suburbia find new and inventive ways to make the most of their Ajax...

*DH - intended to stand for Desperate Housewife, but there's no reason one couldn't presume DickHead. Or Dexhead.

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