"Run to the tanning bar!" I hear you say. "Piss off!" I yell back. Shades of orangey-brown and me just do not match. Nor does me and running. Or, so I thought.
To end the party story and satisfy your undoubtedly bubbling curiosity, my GRAB Rushcutters in double black and a few silky layered tank tops did the job nicely. My eyeliner had a party of it's own all over my face but by the time I noticed I'd had too many expensive wines to care.
Sunday morning brought an urgent need for eggs and bacon, coffee, and eye makeup remover. It also led to a nice brunchly convesation with the Mr about how all my friends have a Wii Fit and I didn't and I couldn't wear a frock cos I'm toooo fat and pale and ghastly and it's all his fault for being chronically cheap and insisting we register the cars and pay the rent and shit. See, if I had a Wii not only could I say "wiiiii" alot and giggle, but I would have nice toned legs and arms (still pale, but at least I would've noticed them in order to apply tanning moisturiser in time for important social events, instead of covering with jeans and tights and letting them wallow in their whiteness all winter). His suggestion, being the sensible type, was to suggest I join him in a weights programme he found online (for free) using the good weights we already have (owned for years). Between that and the daily pram walk I ahem, aim for, (push a 3 year old up and down some hills in a pram with a constantly flat tyre and tell me you can't feel the burn!) I might get a little fit. But not muscly fit, just healthy fit. So I agreed. And I've been doing it and it does feel great.
Unfortunately it also invloves several factors that are quite foreign and scary to me, namely, sweat, trackpants, and concentrating on just one thing for a whole ten minutes. Sweat can be relieved with a healthy iced water and a nice shower with lots of neccessarily luxurious beauty products. Trackpants are made bearable when you brave Supre and realise their Sporte section sell ultra ultra comfy leggings and pants you can match with a rainbow of $10 tshirts. Concentrating on just one thing? Still working on it. But I'll get there in part, because one of my friends loves telling me about her jogs around Wii Island. Yes, such a fantastical place exists! And in the comfort of your loungeroom no less. I've asked Santa for a Wii Fit Plus, the new version out this week, and I'm hoping beyond hope it's customisable to such an extent that I could jog away to my hearts content and window shop at the same time. You could place a 70% off sale at the end of the task to make yourself get there within a certain time! Oooh then I would concentrate on a run. And I'd have to get new shoes. Running shoes, but new shoes.
I do get distracted easily. Here, let me wave something shiny and new in front of your face, in a new end-of-blog section I like to call "stuff we sell": the really really cool Minty Meets Munt Riveted Skirt, $89.95.