Clothing Sizing Issues Part II: Comparing the High Street

It seems Choice's recent article on the inconsistencies in sizing within the Australian fashion industry struck a chord with many of you. The more people that speak up, the more chance there is of something being done about it! Kelly at Nevershoppedout has just posted her thoughts on the issue, noting that Kate Browne's experimental shopping trip is simply a normal experience for many of us. From chain stores to designers, those in control have been avoiding the issue, it seems, for far too long.....

Today I received a package from Sportsgirl. As you probably know, I shop far too much online but as I fit into the 'average' body shape designers tailor to, I have not really had any issues with sizing. This article made me stop for a second as I ripped the tags off my new peach top (yes, peach. Just like my mum's bridesmaid dresses 25 years ago. But for some reason, it's cool again. Promise.) - nowhere in any of my ventures around the Sportsgirl site do I recall seeing a sizing chart. But, thankfully they do have one - you have to go into "shop" and then it's a little link along the bottom - and it is quite thorough. Success!

So I navigated over to Witchery, another regular on my click-list. Again, a decent sizing chart is available along the bottom. Just Jeans offers a 'Denim Fit Guide' which doesn't offer measurements, just a few words in a teen-friendly font on what each cut entails. Once you're in the shop part of their site, you can access a sizing chart for fashion items and all their denim except, not suprisingly, their own Just Jeans brand. Denim brands are notorious for guarding their measurements, which are usually the result of months of research, fitting and testing.

I just got scared witless when the Supre website opened in another window. It seems pounding your eardrums instore doesn't satiate their desire to penetrate every one of your pores with repetitive candy pop. The front page is an ocular atrocity of leggings-as-pants, but thankfully each product has a size chart...even if 3XS looks like some absurd mathematical formula. I couldn't find a size chart for ValleyGirl, but shipping is the same price as the average worth of their items ($10) so I'm not totally sure it's worth bothering with their online shop. (ooh, snarky!) French Connection have an easily accessible size chart, as do Bardot, Barkins and Sass & Bide (standard fashion items only).

The crucial question is not if they are readily available, but how do they compare? Check out this nifty chart I made up comparing size 12's (I'll fix that and make it bigger):



Basically, you can see a 9cm variation in hips, 6cm around the bust and a whopping 14cm at the waist! You'd expect Supre, for example, to be smaller than Barkins, given their target markets. But according to these size charts, and assuming it's reasonable for the same customer to shop at French Connection and Witchery, you wouldn't expect to encounter a 6cm minimum difference in waist measurements. No wonder women everywhere are throwing their arms up in despair and going home empty-handed. Sure, we're meant to be cutting back on our spending, but that should be a feel-good choice rather than a forced neccessity! Will anything be done about it? Watch this space...

Good Job, Vogue, but where are my boots?

I finished it. And the High Street supplemeent wasn't overly original, but tehre were a few key pieces I am happily lusting after, AND can afford! So: Mission Accomplished, Vogue. (Well, ok they didn't do it for me personally, but if your Regular Kat can relate, then so can other Regular Joes out there). Now, if only I could find those heeled laceup boots...they don't seem to be anywhere! *hides in corner crying*

Also keeping an eye on Paris Fashion Week fall '09...ooh la la! Watch this space...

High-End or High-Street? Or Who-Cares?

I have paused in my deliciously slow perusal of the new Frankie magazine becuase I could not go past the irresistible orange (and stripey) front cover of this month's Vogue. Oh, and the words 'Vogue Shops the High Street'. I'm yet to read it fully (relaxing of an evening with a cuppa and a magazine is my little treat) but I'm hoping it's slightly more credible then their 'Christmas gifts under $100' feature in the December issue. It was very pretty and all, but I probably wouldn't buy people $90 candles or soap or card holders. There are better ways to spend a green note.

It's mildly scary when even high-end mags need to take this stance. The new issue of Shoptilyoudrop (out Monday with lots of lovely Frock You pieces in it) has a "Buy Budget Look Luxe" coverline, which is a-ok becuase Shop unashameadly encourages mixing high-end with high-street. But Vogue? American Vogue have done it too, a sobering reflection of economic times...and yet glossy mags still carry bags worth (or at least, priced at) more than a couple month's rent. It almost feels like (alright, subconsciouly we all know it but won't admit) they're 'tapping into the trend' of budget shopping simply to make us mere mortals feel a connection to their glossy pages. "Yeah, see my wicked poly blend top from Dotti? Was in Vogue. I know, I'm THAT cool". It works, I fell for it. Sigh. Clever clogs. Speaking of clogs, the cover also poses the tricky question, "Are Shoes the new It Bags?" It's good to see some things never change...



If you just went "pft" at that little question about shoes, then here's a site you'll love: Worldwide Womenswear Digest . It's funny. Trust me. Download the magazine and laugh, scoff and ultimately feel better about yourself 'cos you are above caring if your shoes are sooo right now or not. Even if you do, a little bit. Titters galore!

Shopping is for Life, not just for Christmas

I'm not a big believer in New Year's Resolutions. If you make one, you invariably keep it for a week and then give up, which leads to disappointment and packets of Tim Tams. it's a bit of the olde "If at first you don't succeed, erase all evidence that you ever tried". I don't diet, I always intend to exercise but refuse to kid myself that it will actually happen, despite expensive sneakers, and after every wardrobe cleanout I intend to replace my old crap with new crap I will wear more often. This also doesn't happen but arguably that is the joy of fashion. Shopping, though, is possibly my biggest vice (in case you couldn't tell). If Becky Bloomwood was real and I could stop imagining her looking scarily similar to Isla Fisher, we'd be pretty good buddies. We think along the same lines. Revealing that, it may come as a shock to you to know that this month, I didn't shop fo a total of 9 days. Yes, you read that correctly. And this is in the midst of post-Christmas sale madness, online bargains galore and heaps of ebay listings of ungrateful wenches who doon't like their designer chrissy presents. Even when Charlotte was born it only took a week to get back to the shops. The hiatus was possibly because I'm not such a fan of summer clothes and can't find any frocks I like this season, and also can't justify yet more grey/white/black/pink tees and tanks, but it's effect was quite pleasing. (It also doesn't include things like groceries by the way). I didn't bore myself with the maths but have been putting more money in our holiday fund, which in the long run means I can shop in a different country with more to spend. Perfect.

I caved when hunting for accessories for our A/W '09 catalogue shoot last week (shot over the weekend and released at the end of the month, more snippets on this later) and couldn't go past sparkly things in Diva for $5. Then I jumped right back on board, finding Little Leona dresses for Charlotte at 40% off, a few bits'n'bobs on ebay, some cute tees from a new site I adore, hardtofind (need to spend more time browsing here, so much cute stuff!), and most importantly, my favourite purchase: Frederick the elephant from Bholu. When I found him last night on the sale rack, I got my shopping spark back. He is too adorable, and he's been sitting in a local homewares boutique for ages and I always pat him when I'm in there. Ok, that sounds weird, but I do. He will look fabulous on my bedside pouf, and the burnt orange colour goes perfectly with our retro-fugly doona. Toys are not just for kids. And perhaps shopping is not a vice (*desperately tries to justify actions*) but a hobby, an outlet, yes, even therapy. And I'd rather spend $40 on a cute toy then on a self-help book anyday.

Ban Husbands From Boxing Day Sales. That's why there's Cricket on TV

Honestly, now that I can no longer spend Christmas Day running around under the sprinkler, arms chockas with shiny new toys that will be exciting until about January, one of the things I look forward to the most about the Festive Season is the sales! Yes, I know that sounds (well, is) very materialistic of me, but on Boxing Day, I get up (kinda) early and head into the city for a few hours of me time and pure retail therapy. After years of practice I have honed my skills and am usually chuffed with my armful of goodies. Check below for the Common Sense Guide To Shopping, but before you even think about it, can I please ask that if your hubby would prefer to be in his shed playing with all the new things he got for Christmas, then leave him there. And brave it yourself. Same goes for boyfriends/straight male friends/brothers and in fact, males who don't like shopping at the best of times. Tell me why they would enjoy elbowing their way through mega crowds and waiting in queues ten times as long as usual, while you try on/ask for opinions/ponder marked-down last season dresses? Yes, he is useful for carrying bags, but really it ends there. I spent more time in Country Road today manoevuering around bored hubbys then I did rifling through the racks. The poor buggers were so out of their elements they simply stood bewildered in the most inconvenient places (such as in front of the racks, in the aisles, in the way of the changerooms and basically in the women's sections in general), arms loaded up with a plethora of purchases and their minds wandering back to the mega toolkit left sitting wistfully on the shed bench. Hell, even sorting the piles of socks Aunt Agnes sent yet again is more exciting than watching women snarl over knitwear.

If your man actually does enjoy shopping, then by all means take him along because he'll be your best ally, but if not, grab a girlfriend or yourself (um) and attack the stores like a madwoman. It's the only way to survive out there!

1). Be polite to the staff. Today I heard so many ridiculous questions and people arguing over a few $ ("well I thought that was $5 cheaper, it was stuffed on that rack over there, I demand you go and check") that I wanted to throttle some people, and all I was doing was standing in line observing the action. The poor girl in Myer kidswear apologised because the lady in front was one such customer who seriously needed to know individually if every single itm in the department was marked down (*brainwave* check the tag, lady, a red sticker means a discount), and then she said she was working til 7pm. This was at 10am. I felt like buying her some discounted Christmas chocolates to cheer her up. But then I remembered she was earning double time and a half so she could suck it up. (!)

2). Wait patiently in line. Be prepared for queues. Standing really close behind me "hrpmphing" and breathing on my neck won't make the cash registers work any faster.

3). Further to point 2, please stand in the line, not just hover somewhere about the counter in hopes that you can push in. You can't, even if you have been waiting pointlessly in the one spot for 15 minutes.

4). If your child was given a pram for her dollies for Xmas, don't let her bring it to the sales. Same goes for scooters and new bikes. There is barely enough standing room, let alone space for little Shania-Eppinee to push her grubby dolls into your kneecaps.

5). Hit departments like lingerie, manchester and shoes for proper bargains. Sheet sets and towels don't go through "seasons" and they are usually at least 40% off at this time of year. Target have 1000 thread count sheet sets for $99 at the moment! Get fitted for a bra earlier in the month so when you get there you can just grab your size in preferred styles and head to counter. Knickers and slips are also good buys. Shoes can be a nightmare to traverse but if you know what style you need you can get through it much easier. You don't, for example, probably need a plastic pair of bright green sandals. Some strappy tan flats however, would look great all summer...

6). Avoid "trend" buys. They are marked down because stores want to get rid of them and never see them again. You might pick up a bargain top to wear out on the town once, but aside from that look for basic tees and tanks, summer dresses in classic cuts, and denim in particular is usually mega-cheap. It's also good to think ahead to autumn/winter and pick up a few cardis or jumpers in basic hues- again these are very similar every season and by the time you get to wear it, it'll be all new and exciting again!

7). For kids, look ahead to winter or even next summer and buy them a size up. Department stores markdown by 30-40% off and chains like P Patch also have some good buys. Stocking up on things like bathers and pj's in bigger sizes is always a good idea (have you ever tried to buy bathers mid-year? impossible!) and if you have some special occassions or parties over the summer, keep an eye out for cute seasonal outfits (it's hot til at least April, but stores start getting winter in at the end of Jan!).

8). Hop online. Most stores have started, or will do in the next few days, % off storewide or category sales. Nevershoppedout.com have a continually updated list; or check out huge shopping forums like Vogue for discount codes and sale updates. Sites like Kidstylefile, On the 7th Day She Shopped, Drop Dead Gorgeous (sign up for daily updates) and Style Hunter are also worth keeping an eye on. Chainstores such as Witchery, Sportsgirl, Valleygirl, and labels like Tony Bianco and Peter Alexander have most, if not all, of their ranges online and discounted. No crowds, you should get your parcels eary next week and you won't get your eyes scratched out by the greedy Shazza in the corner!

And yes, before you ask, you'll get the Frock You discount code for our 3-day sale later tonight. It's gonna be mega! We'll be here all weekend getting parcels out, so you should get everything before New Years. Aus Post have been warned, extra people are on standby, your inbox is waiting...See you at the sale!

Deck The Halls With All Things Green

tra la la la la, la la la laaa......yes I have poked my head out from under my frockrock and promise to deliver lots more sneaky peekys (winter buying is all done, catalogue is underway and I shall let you in on the goss over the coming weeks) as well as the usual rants, raves and ramblings. Today for some reason those wideleg 3/4 jeans that everyone wears with chunky Hush Puppy sandals, or worse, Crocs, really gave me the irks so stay tuned for my in depth analysis. In other possibly more important news, Ange the slave driver at Kidstylefile (I kid, I kids, pardon the pun) has been forcing me to churn out weekly posts on all things hip (today's: Bedding); and Kellie at NeverShoppedOut has been a busy bee redesigning her site, and it looks fabulous. I've done a grand total of bugger all to help with the redesign, but I did just do a post about having an Organic Chrissy, which is conveniently copied + pasted below for your perusal. There's heaps of cool stuff out there, I've tracked (some of) it down, so clicky-clicky and buy something lean and green this festive season!

There will be more Green then red floating about Christmas this year, with a huge shift in consumer consciousness making all that is eco-friendly and organic number 1 on most people’s wish list. And rightly so – check out these ultra-gorgeous buys for kiddies which will keep Mother Earth happy too!

First up: the tree. Aside from letting them go crazy with Clag and pasta and creating their own special pieces, Biome (one of my new fav stores) has awesome fair-trade decorations that are bright and festive enough for kids, and will look chic on plastique too! This box of Assorted Handmade Decorations is just $17.95 (handmade in Bangladesh) and my personal fave, the ceramic Word Stars by Kylie Johnson (handmade in Brisbane) at $12.95!

Generation Wonder stock only fair-trade items, and is indeed a wonderland of beautiful gift ideas! Check out these totally biodegradable Mobile Homes by Kidsonroof ($44.90) which allows kids to create, construct and decorate to their heart’s content. Plus it makes for a novel place to store toys! For a gorgeous keepsake I just love the Barefoot Mother and baby Elephant soft toy set ($43.50, buy together or separately for $19.75) – a percentage of proceeds go to the Pinnawela Elephant Orphanage, each one is handmade and individual, and they come in a variety of colours. Or for something simple guranteed to keep them entertained and active for hours, a Fairtrade Skipping Rope is a great stocking filler at $14.99. And let your little one say it loud and proud with these cool Eco tees by Tiny Revolutionary ($34.95)!

Eco Child have a huuuge range of eco-friendly products, including toys like the very funky Anamalz wooden toy, um, animals, ($9.95) which are not only cute but are also made from renewable resources, are non-toxic (always a plus), and a portion of sales is donated to various wildlife charities. Aw, feel those warm and fuzzies! Eco Child also stock practical ideas such as these Foogo Sippy Cups ($24.95) which are unbreakable, BPA-free and FDA-Approved, which is all A-OK in my book. Got someone super-fussy to buy for? Eco Child have it covered – stuff their stocking with Organic Cotton Balls ($7.95), which are practical, versatile and top quality. I kid, I kid, (though they are of course, very nice) – Mums will love the range of natural beauty products (try Bod Bath Salts Princess Blend $14.95) and mums-to-be will adore these cute and comfy PJ pants by Hot Milk ($49.95).

And finally (and most importantly): clothes! There are so many gorgeous organic labels out there, and not all of them are beige (sorry, ‘natural’). Purebaby is one of my faves, and Babysgotstyle have a great selection – I’m loving the idea of this pretty striped knit tank dress ($44.95) as a lightweight summer option, carried through to winter with tights and a skivvy; or for boys the khaki stripe overalls ($39.95) for something cutesy but cool. The Purebaby website also has a great range of basics and premmie wear. Gaia Organics are another well-loved label, and with good reason – the certified 100% organic cotton is whipped into beautiful creations like the Babydoll Dress ($44.95) and Grandpa Top ($39.95) or these incredibly pretty Blue Bell Botties ($29.95)! For something a bit funky, Mini Eco have a massive range of brands including Speesees, who’s bright and colourful tanks are just $25.95, and these ultra cool tees by Sckoon ($24.95). Baby Blend also do cute prints on organic tees ($29.95 a pop, my fave is “Crabby”!) as do Kee-Ka at ShopHouse ($26.00).

(PS - if you are buying your pressies online, get in quick 'cos the jolly folk at Aus Post probably won't be able to deliver it on time if you don't order before the 18th!)

Christmas: Scrooge or Spend?

I don't know about you but I thought the world economy was in the dunny, and we are all tightening our purse strings this festive season. Or, in a more positive spin, getting back to the good old fashioned notion of "it's the thought that counts" and just letting the tots play with wrapping paper and the older kids an outdoor cricket set. Or, if you are like some people I know, you could be well into the $000's with your chrissy spending. So far. Aside from the joy of giving, is it compensation for some form of neglectful parenting, fear of childhood deprivation, or some sort of bogan pride-cum-outdo the Jones'es mentality? If you don;t count the hoardes of food, we never spent alot on Christmas. We got bikes, rollerblades, a Playstation and all that at one point or another, but it was only ever one gift. Not a laptop, ipod, giant toy dog, swing set, trampoline and assorted cds/books/clothes, all at once. I mean, what the hell do you buy next year?! Charlotte has asked for a gingerbread man from Santa. And the other day Myer had a one-day only sale of 30% off Christmas trim, so she got her own sparkly bauble for the tree. So far her spend list is under $10. Although, she does want a bike too, which I can't wait to go shopping for. My partner will probably get a book and some shoes, I'd be happy with a day off and a Chanel purse (joke. sort of). A day off and lots of wine would do me nicely. Maybe it's an effect of getting old, or the result of the post-consumerism frenzy of this decade, but the thought of overspending just makes me a bit nauseous. And this is coming from a person who basically shops for a living. Mind you, I plan to hit the Boxing Day sales like a madwoman in heels, but you know, everything will be cheap. It's economical. A group of us are having Chrissy dinner later this month, and instead of $10 secret santa we're all giving $10 each to a business in a developing country through Kiva.org . $80 might buy you an annoying talking Elmo who has no point as he isn't programmed to a) shutup or b) do housework; but $80 to someone in the 3rd world makes such a huge difference. I recommend it - warm and fuzzy is where it's at. And I don't mean in a giant lifelike toy dog.

What You'll Be Wearing (Eventually)

My favourite place to scout for new trends/styles/looks, both for my own guilty pleasure and in terms of buying for Frock You, is backstage. Ok, so I don't jetset New York, Paris, Milan, London on a regular basis and casually wander around behind the catwalk glancing coolly at fashionistas, but I don't have to. I can looks at them in the comfort of my pj's with a nice hot cuppa, thanks to the net (oooh groundbreaking revelation Kat, thankyou). Anyhow, you can bet your bottom dollar, or what's left of it, that the trends most likely to filter through to the everyday cool crowd will be found off the catwalk. Today's update from WhoWhatWear therefore had me wriggling in my (lace-up) boots:

Sorry for the shitty small picture (from WhoWhatWear)! Boots with socks, in fact shoes with socks will be in (or back, if you can remember the first time around) and it seems we should keep investing in yet more vests, an idea I love as I am more than partial to a bit of sleeveless coverup action. If you still have elastic headbands, get them out again as they also function nicely as ear-warmers on chilly mornings. Leather jackets and vests are again huuuge, and while I swore off leather for it's tackiness ages ago, if you invest wisely you will get a very cool, timeless wardrobe piece. Please don't get PU though. Or vinyl. Skinny denim or wideleg pants are the go, both styles made easier to wear when you're tall and model-esque but easily adapted for mere mortals too. In fact, a quick browse around the latest shows (and a handy reference guide from Net-a-Porter) shows trousers to be the piece du jour, replacing the frock! (The guide also helpfully points out that tops are also therefore back "in", which is good to know because I know I always plan on wearing my trousers bare-chested). Slouchy is in, prints are in, probably if you're a cool-cat model anything you wear is "in", but as long as you team it with lace up boots (short, tall, whatever) or daggy-cool plain trainers (go fo Cons, you can't go wrong, and they're often cheaper than their high-end imitators, which is just ridiculous), you too can garner a wisp of that effortless cool that is just so much more covetable than those stupidly high shoes on the runway at Miu Miu that make everyone, models included, fall over.

The Vintage Advantage

Hear ye, hear ye, the ecomomeee is melting and people are carrying their office supplies in cardoboard boxes. The hour is upon us to rethink our spending habits and invest wisely. Does this mean we'll have to sort through mustry racks at Vinnies and rummage through boxes at garage sales ourselves, instead of luxuriously browsing through a funky vintage boutique, happily paying $50 for a 50c piece? (Hold your horses/fire, there's a reason for this) - "vintage" is so overdone, it's lost it's point. There is a line between Vintage and Second-Hand Crap from a few years ago (not decades) and most people don't know it's there. You know those pop vox sections in magazines? "Oh my jewellery is from Tiffany's and my bag is Gucci and my shoses are Loubs but my dress is vintage Miss Shop circa 2002". Pft. Stuff people chucked out last summer is not vintage if you re-buy it this summer. It's ecomonical if you buy it at Vinnies, stupid if you buy it at a vintage boutique, but it's. not. vintage. It's literally, last season. There are some awesome vintage stores out there, that source geniune vintage threads from Nanna's heyday, gorgeous well-made pieces in good nick. Props to these shops and people for having the eye for this, they do a brilliant job and I sure as hell couldn't do it. But then there are other shops/sites/ebay listings/pop voxes (voxi?) you wander past and sorta go, hmmm.....I didn't realise that pair of Payless evening shoes I bought for my year 12 ball in 2001 and discarded before the big move OS would end up in a shop window for more than I paid for them (they are, in a local "vintage" shop that's never open, probably with good reason). Just because something is from Vinnies, doesn't make it vintage. It shits me in the same way that it shits me when people claim they've "renovated" their kitchen, when all they've done is paint a DIY feature wall. The stigma of buying second-hand, buying economically, has only been partially lifted, it seems. We're possibly going to be forced by neccessity to throw it off with joyful abandon because it's no longer viable to fork out for the latest overpriced trends in Sportsgirl. Either save up for the designer original or admit your new jacket was $2 and from 2 years ago. Fashion trends do cycle swiftly, after all. Eco-everything is hot right now. Will a glossy fashion mag ever do an under $10 shoot? (No.) It's cool to be green, so why can't it be cool to show off your latest (non-vintage, admittedly last season but see how you've reworked it?) op-shop find. Surely this in turn will feed the buy-to-last ethos Nanna knows about into our consumer consciousness, thus keeping glam high end labels in business and potentially minimising factory child labour? Hey, it seems those vintage ideas were right on the money to begin with.....

Frock You Mid-Season Sale!

Now that the majority of S/S is in store, hell, why not reduce it all by 25% so that you don't need to stress about not being able to afford to look good during times of economic uncertainty. Help the economy recover: Shop! Use the code SPRING to get 25% off everything, from today til Thursday...get in quick!

Christmas Couture Does Not Exist

It's started. My daughter must have some kind of kiddie-sense about it because for the past few weeks we've had to read the Night Before Christmas every night before bed, and I've had to start the "I'm ringing Santa to tell him you've been naughty and are not getting a bike" threats. I thought it ws cute until we waltzed happily into Myer to make the most of the current 25% off kidswear sale, and of course had to fight our way through the Christmas Dept to get there. IN EARLY OCTOBER. Talk about cashing in. Of course, she had a ball and seeing her litle face light up and the shop assistant's go pale when she started picking up the expensive reindeer ornaments was more than worth it. I can't wait to get the tree out and spend an afternoon decorating it, and then spending the evening vacuuming up all the tinsel. Personally, I love chrismas lights and all that jazz, though I do draw the line at life sized singing santas, but my partner belongs firmly in the "Christmas is a well deserved day off and all I want is a sleep in and a beer or 40" no-nonsense camp. So even though our neighbours will not doubt spend a small fortune at Bunnings on a tackorama extravaganza, our place might be a bit more...minimalist. One year I got excited and bought a tin of $2 fake spray-snow but I think it was just out of date shaving cream, because all it did was mutilate the tree in the front yard at Mum's house.

We do have a firm "Christmas doesn't start til December" rule. It's hard to strike a balance between the hyperorganised peeps who do all their shopping in the June sales, and the grumblers who wait til December 24 and then complain about the crowds and the fact that there's only $2 tins of fake spray-snow left on the shelves. But if you're after decorations and such and don't fancy Kmart, here are some online Xmas shops:

Seriously Christmas: they mean business. Check out this page for a jolly good laugh: http://seriouslychristmas.com.au/products/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=12&zenid=f813ff7b01e78f4bc048a3cd677a479c I didn't realise there were country themed decorations! For a UN-inspired Chrissy, perhaps you could try a blurred nondescript gilted decoration from Denmark, a Reject-shop inspired glittery bauble from Hungary, or a fat warbling angel candle holder with token confused shepherd in the background from Italy. Poland apparently takes it's cultral direction from the Hungarians with oversized sparkly hearts, but my absolute FAV is the Swedish Santa. Check him out. Obviously they gave up on the IKEA instruction booklet he most likely comes with, and instead instructed the local kindergarten to find cotton wool, cardboard, that french knitting set a random aunt gave you last year, crack them open and just go nuts. I so want one for our Chrissy Lunch table. If he sings Abba, I'm buying all in existence and setting up a little group of caroling santas on the front lawn. Take that, Bunnings.

Celebrating Christmas gives us this little gem: http://www.celebratingchristmas.com.au/cgi-bin/Celebrating/detailproduct.html?_default_siteObject_siteObjectID=997222 for a jungle-inspired holiday season; or this centrepiece for a funky Chrissy day that probably will involve smoking the special plant your cousin brought along: http://www.celebratingchristmas.com.au/cgi-bin/Celebrating/detailproduct.html?_default_siteObject_siteObjectID=725856 .

To really confuse everyone, play a fun game of "guess the condiment" with these fabulous salt and pepper shakers from Everything Christmas: http://www.everythingchristmas.com.au/prod464.htm . Does Santa hold le salt or le pepper? Ooh the excitement! The website helpfully notes the shakers are handwashable, which is good to know because I do have a disturbing habit of continually putting my dishware in the washing machine.

Still, got to hand it to them, keeping the Yuletide spirit alive and well 365 days a year. Forcing upon us snow-themed decorations in 30 degree summer heat. Causing distress and heartache to chic homemaker magazine editors and Better homes and Gardens presenters the world over. Is it possible to have a stylish Christmas? Are we meant to? I sorta hope not. I can't see Miuccia Prada reinventing the paper Christmas hat anytime soon. As long as we can shop to our heart's content for winter-themed decorations in the hottest days of Summer, Christmas will always be Christmas. Bring on the mulled wine in an oversized embellished mug with reindeer antler handles, man!

3 Things I Hate About..erm, Me

First and foremost, the Disclaimer: this is not an angsty, I-just-bought-a-MyChemicalRomance-cd sorta post. Those of you who know me know I'm far too up myself to dislike anything in particular about moi. But this week I have done 3 (well, maybe 2.5) things that I am totally against:

1). Wore trackpants in public. SHIT I hear you gasp! Seriously, I did. And a little someone with the initals TLC won't let me live it down if I don't post about it. There is a genuine reason: every Thursday lucnhtime I take my daughter to swimming lessons, and becuase our teacher is a nice lady called Kym and not the overly enthusiastic Laurie Lawrence, we don't just chuck the toddlers in the pool and let them figure it out; us Mums get in too. In the middle of winter, this makes it totally freezing when you get out, get bubs dressed and rush to the car. Usually this is done ever so stylishly with a towel wrapped around one's bottom half, some sort of jacket thrown on top and whatever shoes we came in. Hey, you saw it here first. BUT This week I decided I was sick of getting the car seat wet with my soggy towel on the way home, so dried off as best I could before the rampaging two-year-olds bolted for the change room door and thus the pool, and put on my incredibly comfy (OMG) "yoga pants" ie 3/4 tracky daks with elasticised waist from Target. Far out, how many things are wrong with that sentence? "comfy" "3/4" (in terms of leg length) "tracky daks" "Target" "elasticised waist"...I want to cry just reading it back. The waistband is one of those foldover ones, sorta like maternity pants but feel really nice to slip into to relax, or possibly do yoga, which I've never tried because I am about as flexible as a brick wall. Target, because I refuse to spend alot on leisurewear which I neverwear. 3/4 leg length is not flattering on anybody under 6 foot who eats, despite what the catwalks are currently trying to tell us. "Comfy" is not usually my first priority when choosing an outfit, sad but true. But in my defence, swimming lessons for tots is a type of physical activity AND it looks possibly slightly better than a towel-skirt. Hmph.

2). I went to Supre. My friends and I used to pop in all the time to get a top for Saturday night or a cheap shopping thrill, but either Supre has got younger and more fluro or I've gotten older and more muted in my colour palette, or both, but it's a scary, scary place where the shop assistants can't hear you over the music, flash their undies over their jeans and vomit every current trend over themselves before hitting the shop floor. If I wanted to shop in a nightclub, I would happily get off my tits, shout indecipherable things at strangers and unknowingly overpay for completely shitty items. But, like most of you, I prefer to be reasonably in control of my senses when shopping. Today however, I got a text from my best shopping buddy "Supre have 50% off their sale stuff, tops from $2.50!" and I was literally across the road, so I pushed through the decibels like a headwind and entered. Aside from being nearly blinded by the colour choices and claustrophobic from the racks and racks of stuff absolutely jam packed, I picked up 3 nice little basics for $11. And I MAY even go back and get a few more to sell on ebay for a lot more than what I paid (this works a treat, trust me). Waiting in line behind a large girl who could barely fit between the racks and in front of a family of bogans from Devonport discussing how Noice their purchases were and how expenshiv Jeanswest is, my daughter looked up at me, grinned her naughty grin and started shaking her head vigorously to the music, doing an unknowing but completely spot-on mockery of the throbbing toons. She's 2 and knows these tunes are for when Mummy has a lot of wine and/or vodka, and no other times. (Seen the segment on Chaser where they go have a rave in Supre? Brilliant). The girl behind the counter said something but I couldn't hear, so I just handed my card over and hoped she'd said the amount I'd worked out in my head. I couldn't even lip read because it wasn't just the top band of her knickers poking out over jeans, it was like she had decided to experiment with layering or some kind of underwear-as-outerwear-read-my-undies trend. I came out happy with my bargains but also with a headache and a burning desire to go calm down in a boutique. Or even Jeasnwest.

3). Well it's only a little one, or half one, but I forgot to post yesterday...sorry! There's too much awesome new stuff on the website to occupy me instead.....

Next week stay tuned for my lowdown on the KidsinStyle trade show this weekend in Melbourne!

Shopping is Shite

On my never-ending quest to find weird and wonderful and albeit useless trinkets, I have recently become enamoured with mildly offensive everyday objects. Etsy hath been my saviour. The other day I bought a shite plate, which will sit nicely next to my shite toy bunny. I don't mean they are awful, or indeed made from/to look like fecal matter, I mean that they are lovely everyday objects emblazoned with something possibly offensive:

My shite plate is a vintage find from the back of Nanna's cupboard and hand-painted with "food-safe" ceramic paint. I can't wait to serve up a delicious steaming plate of something, to have the lucky recipient clean their plate and then see those bold black letters staring back at them. It may bias them against what they've just eaten, but it will be funny.

Shite bunny is made in the USA from soft felt and lovingly hand-stitched together. He has a brother, who lives with my brother, the "go F**K yourself" bunny (the toy, not my sibling). They get along great (the toys, not my sibling and the toy).

Get your bollocky plates from Trixiedelicious and Bunnies wot swear from spidercamp . Feck! Arse! Drink!