It's halfway through the working week; or, halfway to the weekend if you choose to look at it that way. At any rate, you might need a little pick-me-up that's cheaper than a new pair of shoes (though, we won't tell if you do) and/or has less calories than a Cadbury Bar of Plenty *dribbles a bit*, so here's a list of hilarious - and true - answers given on the UK game show Family Fortune. I was tipped off to this by last night's episode of QI, which means you could almost email this list to your friends of the intellectual variety without feeling like too much of a nonce.
Alas, speaking of nonces, let the list begin:
Something made of wool: "Cotton wool.."
An animal with three letters: "Lion.."
A French ferry port: "Dover.."
Something you mount: "A mountain.."
A slang word for a girl: "Slag.."
An animal with horns: "A bee..."
Something made of wool: "A sheep.."
A way to prevent snoring: "Put a pillow over his face.."
A word used to describe a very hot day: "A very hot day.."
A song from 'The Sound Of Music': "Dancing Queen.."
Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: "Feeds your pets.."
Something that comes in 7's: "Fingers.."
A vocalist known by only one name: "Michael Jackson.."
A yellow fruit: "Orange.."
Something a Frenchman would say: "On Garde.."
A fast animal: "A hippo.."
Something you keep in the garden: "A cat.."
A character from Little Red Riding Hood: "Hansel and Gretel.."
Something that has a shell: "Batman.."
A mode of transport that you can walk in: "Your shoes.."
A part of your body you only have one of: "Your big toe.."
Another TV gameshow with the word 'family' in the title: "The Generation Game.."
A seaside resort on the south coast: " Rio de Janeiro.."
Something you open other than a door: "Your bowels.."
Something with a red light on it: "a Dalek.."
A job that a working dog does: "A slave.."
Something people might be allergic to: "Skiing.."
An occupation where you need a torch: "A burglar.."
Something you use a microchip in: "A fish-fryer.."
A dangerous race: "The Arabs.."
A game played in the dark: "Charades.."
A part of the body you have more than two of: "Arms.."
A bird with a long neck: "Naomi Campbell.."
Something taken from a hotel as a souvenir: "The lamps.."
A domestic animal: "A leopard.."
I hope you didn't just spit your cup of tea over your keyboard like I just did. Leopard! Slag! Naomi Campbell!
You can find the main list here.