Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Beware the Lancome Ladies

I'm still shaking from the attack. Such determination, resourcefulness and blatant force I have never encountered. Those Lancome ladies are really out to get you. Or your money.

The local Myer store is pretty shoddy when it comes to beauty counters. Short of helping yourself to products and attempting to walk out the door, none of the tight-skinned ladies will even look at you. Many a time I have been intent on making a purchase but have left empty handed and bought online or waited til the next Melbourne trip because apparently sorting tissues is a more worthwhile exercise then helping customers. But there is one exception, and that is the Lancome counter, perched in all it's overzealous glory right near the escalators which makes it hard to sneak past unnoticed. Especially if you're atttempting a free spritz of perfume without the sales pitch.

I know they work on comission and in all frankness it must be pretty shite, but the other day made me determined to use the fire stairs and completely avoid that portion of the shop. Most beauty counters in bigger city department stores are more than happy to let you play with colours and generally waste their time, which is a lovely way to spend a Saturday morning. But don't even think about heading to this particular counter if you have a specific product in mind (in this case, my mother was after a restock on her foundation). We knew the exact shade, type and price and simply wanted a "shade no 3 please" and let's make like sheep and get the flock outta there. But nooo, oh lordy nooo...

"would you like a brush for that?"
"no thankyou I already have one"
"oh but not one like this, see how..."
"it's ok, I just bought a new one the other day" (lie)
"what about your mascara? I think this one would be..."
"thankyou, but I have one already which works really well" ( truth, I got it free from Sportsgirl and fobbed it off to her but apparently their makeup is stellar. One of my friends loves it)
"well you probbly don't need blush as your cheeks are a little flushed" (also truth, but not the best way to make a sale). Have you tried our bronzer?" (gets out sample and scary looking brush bigger than our mop)
"no thankyou, I don't really know how to apply it. Look, I have to get to work-"
"here let me-"
"please can I just buy this foundation, I really have to go"
*Charlotte transfixed by woman's uber pink lipstick*
Reluctantly, the single sale is processed. We turn to leave.
"let me just give you a quick sample of the bronzer-"
"no, really"
"here" (leans over and starts dusting face)
we back away; "no thankyou!! BYE"

woman comes out from behind counter and continues her attempt at bronzing. We start to walk, she follows, practically shrieking the benefits of this mircale brown powder and waving the brush. She actually succeeded in a few swipes before we managed to escape out the front, and hide behind a pack of bogan children. She stands in front of her counter, sniffing the air to see which way we went, before her heavily made up eyes spot another victim...**

**mild exagerration. mild.

Must've been a slow day.

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