Rant: "Overnight" Does Not Mean "4 days Later"

It might be the heat or it might be the sheer incompetence of others, but bloody hell I nearly politely voiced my unfavourable thought train this afternoon in the post office. For two reasons.

1). I was home all morning, went to go out at lunchtime and there was one of those annoying red "attempted delivery" cards from Aus Post in the letterbox. I'll reiterate: I. Was. Home. All. Morning. I was in the shower at the other end of the house for about 15 mins early on, but the chances of them coming to deliver then are pretty slim. So, whilst annoying, one must take a deep, calm breath and prepare to face the tracksuited legions that inhabit the local shopping centre whence the nearest PO is located.

2). The smartarse delivery guy ticked "pick up after 4:30pm" on the card. I know full well they all knock off by 3pm (man on the inside, you see) so there is no way I was waiting til late afternoon to head back down again to collect it. Indeed, when we rocked up after a nice cold iced chocolate at about 2pm, outside the PO door with a box of carded parcels was a delivery man. Maybe not our delivery man, but a delivery man. Bewdy! I thought, the heat allowing such an improper colloquialism to creep into my inner speech bubble. All parcels must be in.

The old biddy behind the desk had other ideas. I handed her my form, and she disappeared 'out the back' for all of, oh, 3 seconds, before coming out and saying 'no it's not here, it says after 4:30pm." I screwed up my face in a most unbecoming manner and said, truthfully, "oh, but there is a man out there with all the parcels, I can hear them being scanned in." Apparently the thought of the walk of 2 metres to the storage area behind the service desk was particularly fatiguing to this perm-headed baby boomer, as she sighed impatiently and said, "yes, I looked there," before firmly handing my form back and shooing me on my way.

Outside, I phoned my man on the inside, who informed me who exactly it was who had carded this parcel AND the fact that this person had finished his shift an hour ago. Thus, my parcel must be at the post office. Steam came out of my ears and it wasn't from the heat.

Luckily there was no line when I got back into the PO or I may have had to lure some pensioners out with promises of back issues of Take 5 magazine. A different, more pleasant lady served us this time, and I held my tongue to see what would happen. I hadned over my slip, she disappeared out the back for, oh, about 3 seconds, and returned clutching my parcel. I signed, bade her a polite au revoir, and left.

IT WAS FUCKING THERE THE WHOLE TIME AND NEARLY COST ME TWO SWELTERING CAR TRIPS TO A SHITTY CAR PARK!

2). The actual parcel should've been here on Monday. The website I purchased the item from advertised "overnight delivery to most areas", but did not specify the exact service they used. As we are within Aus Post's Express network I assumed 'most areas' would cover us. After an email to the store (promptly but curtly replied to) yesterday, I was advised to 'wait a few more days'. Um? "Overnight delivery"?? Anyway the parcel turned up by regular (as oppsed to Express) post - not a whiff of Overnight about it. I would put it out there that the only place it would get to overnight would be Sydney and surrounds, where it originated from. Misleading information much? Not the first time it's happened either - a different website once charged me $8 'express' postage, but when I received it, they'd merely stuck two 55c stamps on the parcel- ie spent a whole $1.10 and pocketed a tidy $6.90. I emailed a couple of times with no reply then gave up and promptly spread the word - the site has since closed down but the shopfront may still be operating (boo! hiss!).

Not exactly world-changing, Neighbours-worthy drama but it's the small, simple aspects of customer service that really stand out - whether it's a tiny but unexpected nice touch, or a small but misleading (and ultimately frustrating) detail. Coupled with stinking hot summer weather does not a happy customer maketh!

Customer.....Service?

If one goes to a shop to purchase something, in general you would expect the following to happen:

Customer finishes browsing the store, after being acknowledged but not harrassed by staff, chooses item and proceeds to payment counter.

Sales Assistant: "Hello, how are you?"

Customer: "Good thankyou, how are you?"

SA: "Pretty good thanks! Gosh that's a cute/lovely/bargain dress/bag/shoes/accessory,"

C: "Yes, I'm pretty happy with it!"

SA: "Certain amount of $$ please"
C: "Here you go...thankyou"

SA: "Thankyou, goodbye!"

That's pretty bland and open to all sorts of interpretation, but the general gist is a basic, simple, and effective transaction. SA gets on with their day, C leave shappy and will probably return in the near future.

What you don't expect to happen is one of the following (note: these all happened in Myer within days of each other, to me or the person I was shopping with. Myer HR peeps please take further note).

Customers drawn into busy department store by large pink sign which reads "30% off all bags". Sign notes high end designer bags are not included, but does not note that the bags were perhaps the staff in this department.

C: "Oooh brilliant, here's this insanely practical and versatile tote I was planning to purchase anyway. Might as well grab it today!" trots off happily towards register, before being halted in tracks by the ridiculously long queue (bags and shoes are in the same area, service dby a grand total of one register).

C: "errrm......" *lightbulb goes off above head* "I'll head down towards the register where the scarves and stuff are, save waiting in line behind 465 people asking to try on shoes."

Customer arrives at counter. Beyond-middle-aged woman behind counter stops sucking lemons and turns around haughtily. Emits no sound.

C: "Could I buy this please, the line at shoes is really long."

SA: "Not really, you need to pay for it in it's own department."

C: "Well ok....but there's nobody here at all! I don't really have time to wait behind that line of people waiting to pay shoes. There's only one register over there, after all."

SA: sniffs "$119.95"

C: "oh the bags are 30% off today."

SA: "no if you buy two you get 25% off BUT YOU ARE ONLY BUYING ONE"

C: taken aback "oh sorry, there's a one-day sale sign over there that says 30% off all bags"

SA: "I TOLD YOU, it's 25% off if you buy two."

C: "But the sign..."

SA: "LOOK I'll give you 15% off but nothing else"

C: "Well thankyou, but the offer is 30% off?"

SA: "THERE IS NO 30% OFF I SAID YOU CAN HAVE 15%"

C: "Can you see the pink sign there? It says 30% off? Maybe if you go a bit closer to read it?"

SA: "I'VE WORKED HERE FOR 6 BILLION YEARS [ed.'s slight exaggeration] DON'T TRY TO TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB"

C: puts bag down on counter and backs away slowly, back towards the giant pink sign stating 30% off.

I thought it was only older people in big stores like this who are far too comfortable in their job to try, care or even begin to be bothered to offer some kind of service. But then:

C can't help but stop at rows and rows of lovely colours on display at high profile cosmetics counter. Considering most of her makeup bag is full of this particular brand, and previous experiences have been favourable, she decides to pick up some new eye colours.

Bored looking young SA with super shiny barbie pink lips. So shiny, C is tempted to pull sunglasses off head and back over eyes.

SA: "Can I help you?"

C: "Hi, yes I'm just after one of these eye colours" holds out hand with samples smeared all over

SA: deadly silent, points at one.

C: "err, ok, I think that's the one I liked best too"

SA: "Should I get it out for you?"

C: "yes please"

SA removes eyeshadow pot from locked drawer that C presumably had no access to and storms off to counter. C hasn't finishe dlooking so doesn't follow. SA returns.

SA: "Did you want something else?"

C's Companion: "I was after a blusher"

SA points to chair "Sit"

CC, not used to being talked to a la canine, stands stunned for a moment then sits

SA removes CC's makeup and applies powder followed by blusher. "You need lots of powder because of the redness in your cheeks"

CC looks in mirror. "Oh yes that looks nice, what was the other product you used?
SA as if she was speaking to a toddler "it was a powder" and turns away. CC rolls eyes, dismisses any idea of purchasing powder on top of blush. Both head to counter.

SA: "So you get 15% off yeah?"

C: "oh is there? thanks!"

CC: "is it 15% off everything?" (meaning, all the cosmetics your brand sells)

SA: "nooooo, just cosmetics"

CC: "yes, off all your products"

SA: stares like she has two heads "yeeeeesss. but I don't know about other labels. I've only been here, like, 2 days, this is, like, my second day." names discounted price.

C: "thanks. so what was the original price?"

SA: "I GAVE YOU THE 15% OFF!"

C: "yes, thankyou, but what was the original price?"

SA: "you got the discount! why do you want to know?" throws bag on counter

C: "alright then, byyyyyyeeee"

2 days in, a heck of a lot to learn. Personality of a hairbrush, much?

Finally, the haven of the wrinkled and fuddy: homewares. That's not quite a fair assumption, but seriously every person who works in this department seems to have previously worked connecting phone plugs in an old time telephone exchange.

2 separate customers approach counter. Stout old matron doesn't look up. Nice customer gestures to the other, "you go first, I've got more things". Other customer thanks her graciously and puts towels down on counter.

SA: "I'm busy you'll have to go to another counter."

C: "Oh, right...notes there are no other customers aside from gracious lady I've only got these 2 towels?"

SA: "I'm busy!"

C: looks around and can't see any other staff "Is there anybody on the other counter?"

SA: "I don't know! Probably not, usually I'm the only one up here."

C: "Er, well if there's nobody else here..."

SA: "Look, go to the counter in giftware"

C: not keen to attempt a purchase again in different department "um, can I please just buy these?"

SA: huffs and puffs "look, fine, give them here " snatches towels, scans and roughly shoves in bag "there are never enogh staff. And I barely get a lunchbreak...*carries on in said vein for entire transaction. gracious lady turns and flees*...there." turns away again.

C: "Well thankyou very much".

It's understandable that people have bad days. But is it neccessary to be a total mole? Why not, oh I don't know, go out on a limb and try to not be standoffish? Maybe if you smile, despite your shit day, the rest of it might improve? Unfortunately Myer is one of those stores you keep going back to regardless. I'm sure they aren't the only ones with questionable service staff. Harvey Norman also springs to mind...but that's another story!

Friday Customer Service Rant

Sometimes, it just wouldn't be Friday without a rant about someone in a shop who has gotten my goat (and my money). This week, it's a new kids "boutique" recently opened here. The idea is good, and I think needed in this Pumpkin Patch-dominated town, though really you can buy pretty much every kids label online, with a discount code and without the attitude (actually that includes P Patch, their e-outlet store has been great recently for little summer frocks!). I won't name names, unless it happens again should I perchance pass their way in the future, but let's just say any person with a smidgen of common sense, working in retail or who owns a store, would not really try to gain a sale by questioning the customer's choice. In a snotty way. In other words, if I am tossing up between two little tops for my daughter, and leaning towards buying them both, I don't expect to be told that one is "obviously too babyish" for her. I mean it's a sz 2, she's 2 years old and a size 2, therefore I imagine it's perfectly suitable. Plus, I liked the print and it was cuter than some of the vomit-inspired prints on the sz 3 "grown up kids" rack. Also, when we shop (which as you can probably imagine is pretty regularly) we like to play a game where I ask her to choose which one she likes best and we end up with less tantrums getting dressed in the mornings. Shopgirls can look at me like I'm stupid but they're dealing with a tot who knows who Coco Chanel is, can spot Paris on a map and realises ugg boots are slippers and not fashionable footwear. What I should've done is point out said horrible old bag's (shoplady, not Chanel) store layout was all wrong, horribly merchandised and the store name oddly spelt. But I quietly paid for just the one top, looked at a business card on the counter and enquired whether they have a webstore, and bit my tongue in telling her she was going to get a spanking on this blog and possibly on a few others I have my hand in...and boy oh boy was I going to spread the word!

Well, all that sounds a bit nasty but we all know how I feel about customer service. There's a reason Frock You has an impeccable reputation and it's 'cos we know our stuff. We won't tell you something is awful (otherwise we wouldn't stock it, der), or question your choices - if you like it and are happy, then we are too *dances in meadow with trail of happy customers*. Speaking of, you'll loooove the bits and pieces coming in next week (beautiful new tees, dresses and suits by Baobab, quirky and hella-cheap Minty Meets Munt, gorgeous dresses from GRAB and some killer heels and well cool flats from Nude; for a start) and keep an eye out for our new label from the UK, Motel (as worn by Duffy, the Ting Tings and the Saturdays). You heard it here first!

Modern Manners: A Rant

Cat W is best like butter, on a roll.....

I have, fairly recently, been spending some time lamenting the general lack of manners and courtesy that people appear to be exhibiting these days. I don’t know what it is, but I know that its not just kids – older people are just as guilty. I work in customer service, and one of the biggest things I have noticed about this industry is that people can be big old bastards. I’m not old, I’m 25 in fact, and I consider that I was brought up well enough by my parents to know what constitutes good manners. Subsequently I shall have a mini rant so bear with me, you may even sympathise!

I try to treat people the way I like to be treated. No matter if I don’t really like them, or care what they think about me, but I know how good I feel when people use their pleases, thank you’s and don’t treat me like general shite. I have this thing going on whereby if I don’t get a please, thank you, some kind of eye contact or even a smile, then I will often give back what I get and be quite cool towards my subject. Polite, but cool. I don’t know what impression this gives, but when you work with people everyday, it makes you very aware of what makes good service. Manners and a friendly demeanor are paramount.

I don’t think I’m asking for the world. For me, as a paying customer, you don’t need to engage me in conversation (in fact, please don’t) unless, for example, you’re a travel agent or someone I’m buying a book off (in which case I like to have a good old convo, preferably about the book). If I’m polite and friendly towards you, I simply expect the same in return.

One thing that quite annoys me is parents who don’t teach their kids to say please or thank you, or if they do, often it’s not enforced. Subsequently, we have a lot of spoilt little shits running around, who think it’s above them to show courtesy to others. Not all parents are like this, and not all kids obviously, but it’s too common a thing not to warrant comment! Young people, those in their teens and mid twenties often show a similar discourtesy. And old people. My god. They can push and shove with the best of them, and it ain’t pretty. You are not better than me because you’ve lived through 10 world wars and deserve to be treated like a legend, if you show some courtesy and don’t forget to say please or thank you, then maybe you’ll get said treatment. And for god’s sake don’t use your deafness as an excuse. Now I know people get old and grumpy and sick, and I respect that, but it’s an entirely different subject and not one I shall indulge in right now. Or maybe ever…

I don’t dislike the industry I work in, just in case you may have been getting that impression, but I do get a little irritated when people think it’s above them to use manners and/or show discourtesy. Whatever industry or life situation you find yourself in, just remember that rudeness, stuck up-ness and ill-manners are not at all becoming or endearing. So next time your out and dealing with the public, put away that dough face and remember your manners – it may make a difference, even just a slight one.