Rant: "Overnight" Does Not Mean "4 days Later"

It might be the heat or it might be the sheer incompetence of others, but bloody hell I nearly politely voiced my unfavourable thought train this afternoon in the post office. For two reasons.

1). I was home all morning, went to go out at lunchtime and there was one of those annoying red "attempted delivery" cards from Aus Post in the letterbox. I'll reiterate: I. Was. Home. All. Morning. I was in the shower at the other end of the house for about 15 mins early on, but the chances of them coming to deliver then are pretty slim. So, whilst annoying, one must take a deep, calm breath and prepare to face the tracksuited legions that inhabit the local shopping centre whence the nearest PO is located.

2). The smartarse delivery guy ticked "pick up after 4:30pm" on the card. I know full well they all knock off by 3pm (man on the inside, you see) so there is no way I was waiting til late afternoon to head back down again to collect it. Indeed, when we rocked up after a nice cold iced chocolate at about 2pm, outside the PO door with a box of carded parcels was a delivery man. Maybe not our delivery man, but a delivery man. Bewdy! I thought, the heat allowing such an improper colloquialism to creep into my inner speech bubble. All parcels must be in.

The old biddy behind the desk had other ideas. I handed her my form, and she disappeared 'out the back' for all of, oh, 3 seconds, before coming out and saying 'no it's not here, it says after 4:30pm." I screwed up my face in a most unbecoming manner and said, truthfully, "oh, but there is a man out there with all the parcels, I can hear them being scanned in." Apparently the thought of the walk of 2 metres to the storage area behind the service desk was particularly fatiguing to this perm-headed baby boomer, as she sighed impatiently and said, "yes, I looked there," before firmly handing my form back and shooing me on my way.

Outside, I phoned my man on the inside, who informed me who exactly it was who had carded this parcel AND the fact that this person had finished his shift an hour ago. Thus, my parcel must be at the post office. Steam came out of my ears and it wasn't from the heat.

Luckily there was no line when I got back into the PO or I may have had to lure some pensioners out with promises of back issues of Take 5 magazine. A different, more pleasant lady served us this time, and I held my tongue to see what would happen. I hadned over my slip, she disappeared out the back for, oh, about 3 seconds, and returned clutching my parcel. I signed, bade her a polite au revoir, and left.

IT WAS FUCKING THERE THE WHOLE TIME AND NEARLY COST ME TWO SWELTERING CAR TRIPS TO A SHITTY CAR PARK!

2). The actual parcel should've been here on Monday. The website I purchased the item from advertised "overnight delivery to most areas", but did not specify the exact service they used. As we are within Aus Post's Express network I assumed 'most areas' would cover us. After an email to the store (promptly but curtly replied to) yesterday, I was advised to 'wait a few more days'. Um? "Overnight delivery"?? Anyway the parcel turned up by regular (as oppsed to Express) post - not a whiff of Overnight about it. I would put it out there that the only place it would get to overnight would be Sydney and surrounds, where it originated from. Misleading information much? Not the first time it's happened either - a different website once charged me $8 'express' postage, but when I received it, they'd merely stuck two 55c stamps on the parcel- ie spent a whole $1.10 and pocketed a tidy $6.90. I emailed a couple of times with no reply then gave up and promptly spread the word - the site has since closed down but the shopfront may still be operating (boo! hiss!).

Not exactly world-changing, Neighbours-worthy drama but it's the small, simple aspects of customer service that really stand out - whether it's a tiny but unexpected nice touch, or a small but misleading (and ultimately frustrating) detail. Coupled with stinking hot summer weather does not a happy customer maketh!

Computers Will (Not) Save The World (language warning!)

Just thought I'd share a scan of an actual letter that came through the Aus Post sorting system today. It managed to get this far because at every point the barcode is simply scanned and a real person barely glances at it. I've crossed out some of the most naughty word and I was also told I had to cross out the adressee's name:


Scarily easy to do, slightly amusing to look at. Over-reliance on "time-saving" computing systems, much?

(My partner works for Aus Post btw. He drives a big red Mercedes for them. Which is not as glamourous as it sounds).

Send a Random Postcard - Spread the Love!

If you work for a big company, every quarter or so you usually get a fun-filled magazine with a witty title which is basically a large propoganda pamphlet about how your caring multinational sponsors trees in the sub-sahara and donates a portion of profits to charities they have a hand in. Not to sound cynical or anything. But my partner was this morning browsing through the latest issue of PostJournal, the afore-described tome sent to all Aus Post employees (NO he is not a postman, nor does he sort letters into boxes), and found a little paragraph about a cool website called PostCrossing . The concept: you register your details, click the button to generate a random person from somewhere around the globe (also registered on the site, or it would just be creepy) and send them a postcard of where you live with a little happy message on it! FREE HUGS BY SNAIL MAIL folks. This is where it's at! Then, once you've sent one, someone will send you one (but you won't know when they do, it'll just arrive one glorious day), then you can send another, and so the circle of love continues. Randomness in letterboxes - I love it!

Tomorrow I'm sending a note of kindness to an animal loving geriatric nurse in Finland. I better not send a postcard with a Tasmanian Devil on it as they are all munted due to the awful cancer spreading through the species. Maybe a cuddly koala, or the local boganus flannelettia would please her. BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS IS SO FUN IT MAKES ME TYPE IN CAPS LOCK! In today's day and age where we are so anal about being organised and time-optimisation and lots of other wanky management-speak things, the element of surprise and good old fashioned faith in the kindness of a complete stranger makes this a worthwhile project. The site states that the reasoning behind PostCrossing is "there are lots of people who like to receive real mail. The element of surprise of receiving postcards from different places in the world (many of which you'd probably never have heard of) can turn your mailbox into a box of surprises - and who wouldn't like that?". Exactly. If you're not so bold as to stand in your local mall holding a "Free Hugs" sign, this is the next best thing - send a kind word and smiley face to someone, somewhere, and watch the good karma spread!

Go to http://www.postcrossing.com/ and register, then wait by the letterbox, and experience the simple joy of getting mail!

(ps if you've been getting those stupid postcards from Bigpond, don't forward them to Scandinavia or any other well-meaning part of the globe. They reflect badly on our country, broadband system and use of trees. Are you listening, Telstra? oh wait, I'm on hold. Still.)